One morning in my time with Jesus, I asked Him to teach me what it really means to be a virtuous woman. You see, I have always been attracted to the verses in Proverbs 31; desired to be like her; talked on a surface level about her, but I was frustrated that I just wasn’t her. I have read this chapter many times, and so I thought that the next move would be to study out what the Spirit of Prophecy had to say concerning her. However, the Lord had other plans for me this morning, and I was impressed to comb through not just each verse, but do an actual word by word study of Proverbs 31; using my Bible and the Strong’s Concordance. The Lord wanted me to sink my shaft deeper, and I am so glad that I did, because this chapter is a treasure chest indeed! There is much more to it than what meets the eye.
Sisters, sisters, God’s standard for us is so beautiful, elevated, and so powerful, that if we chose to live by the principles of this love letter for women, what a joy our lives would be; what a light of righteousness we would shed abroad in our neighbourhood; what a refining influence we would have on our brothers; and what a Godly example of true beauty we would have upon the little girls around us. What a praise we would be to our Father in Heaven.
What I am about to share are several characteristics of a virtuous woman that are found in Proverbs 31:10-31.
Before we begin, let us set the context of this Scripture:
‘The words of king Lemuel, the prophecy that
his mother taught him.’ {Proverbs 31:1}
The words describing what defines a virtuous woman came from a woman who was teaching her son on what a man should look for in sister. She was speaking out of a heart of love for her son, so of course she wanted the best for him; for that which she knew would make a man happy for the rest of his life. So what you are about to read, are principles that would make you pleasing in the eyes of God, and also truly attractive in the eyes of man.
1.
Rare: The question is asked, ‘Who can find a virtuous woman?’ This is not really a question as it is a statement. What is stated here is that virtuous women are a rare species. So, to obtain one, means you’ve struck rich! In the words of the wise man:
[Whoso] findeth a wife
findeth a good [thing], and obtaineth favour of the LORD. {Proverbs 18:22}
2.
Strong Woman: The word ‘virtuous’, we understand to mean full of good characteristics and morals, however, that’s not how the Hebrew is translated. It actually means ‘
strong’, as in a band of men, such as an
army. What we are dealing with here, is a description of a ‘Strong Woman’.
Now, we know that if we go by the definition of what the world classes as a strong woman, we would soon conclude that it’s not a rare thing to find a strong woman, because there is no shortage of strong women out there. There are many who know how to attract their man, get their man, control their man, and pride themselves on the fact that they make more money than their man. There are many, of which the world classes as strong women, who are at the top of an elite company, yet who fail to be the queen of their own household. There are many who can make heads turn, and are powerful, forceful talkers, that in their presence they can make you feel smaller than an ant.
Please don’t see this as a stab at my sisters, for that’s the last thing in my heart to do. I just want us to wake up to the realisation that what the world classes as strong, is not what Proverbs 31 is about. I used to be the sisters I have just described and still have to war with many tendencies in that line, daily. However, the Lord challenges me and you to come up higher, and instead of praying for God to send a strong Godly man into our lives, pray that we will be the strong, godly women that will be a blessing to such men.
3.
More Valuable than a Ruby:
'One of the
most sought after gemstones
in the world are rubies. Rubies are made from Corundum. It should be noted that the mineral corundum creates two distinct gemstones, the first is the Ruby, the second being Sapphires. Sapphires come in a variety of beautiful colours, however only red Corundum is considered a Ruby. Since natural occurring rubies are
very rare and extremely rare in large sizes over 3 carats, they can
demand prices higher than diamonds. The Ruby is one of the
most beautiful gemstones created by nature [UHUM (Me) may I interrupt here: IT WAS MADE BY GOD!!].'
{gemstoneeducation.com}
4.
Trustworthy: We are told that her husband’s heart can safely ‘trust’ her. The word is actually translated as to ‘find refuge’ ‘confidence’. In other words, our husbands should be able to tell us anything, and be confident that it will stay with you. They should be able to be vulnerable with you; for you to see their faults, and your heart be the grave for their faults when we see their weaknesses, we bury it in our hearts and take it to the Lord, and let them die there. The husband of the virtuous woman finds a refuge, a solace in her heart, when he comes home from a hard day’s work. Oftentimes it is the case that he returns home to a growling, contentious woman, which should not be so among us daughters of God.
The next part of verse 11 really puzzled me for a while. I really had to pray repeatedly over it, because I didn’t at first see the connection between the husband trusting this woman, and him having ‘no need for spoil’. So let’s break this down, from the Strong’s Concordance:
Spoil (the definition of the root word): To make self a prey; let fall; take a prey.
It is important to bear in mind that spoil, a prey, is taking something, which does not belong to you.
The word ‘prey’, from the American Heritage Dictionary: One that is defenceless, especially in the face of attack.
Okay, so let’s put this all together. I will do this by dealing with verse eleven in the negative:
If a husband finds that he has no refuge in his wife: for when he comes home she is very unwelcoming and disagreeable; if she keeps bringing up his mistakes from the past, and he finds that their personal business has been on her lips to her girlfriends, for example, then the devil will press him with either or both scenarios:
Should an attractive sister come his way, which sympathizes with him, and seemingly meets his needs, his lack of trust in you, has made himself a prey to the devil’s seductions through that woman.
OR
He will seek out other lady ‘friends’, thus eventually, taking a prey: taking that that which does not belong to him (another woman).
Please don’t misunderstand me, for I am not saying that God excuses adultery if the wife fails in her duty towards her husband, no. What the Bible is saying, is that we as women of God can do much to gird up the loins of our husbands minds by being a refuge for him, so that he will feel no need of spoil.
5.
Wholehearted:
Seamstress
Cook
Business woman (without neglecting her home)
Gardener
Verse thirteen tells us that she works ‘willingly with her hands’. The Hebrew is translated as, ‘pleasure’, ‘desire’. What we are looking at here, is a woman who doesn’t just outwardly attend to the above duties, but takes pleasure in them, rather than looking at her lot unfavourably. What gives the strong woman joy and desire to do these things?
‘Could the veil be withdrawn, and father and mother see as God sees the work of the day, and see how his infinite eye compares the work of the one with that of the other, they would be astonished at the heavenly revelation. The father would view his labors in a more modest light, while the mother would have new courage and energy to pursue her labor with wisdom, perseverance, and patience. Now she knows its value. While the father has been dealing with the things which must perish and pass away, the mother has been dealing with developing minds and character, working, not only for time, but for eternity. Her work, if done faithfully in God, will be immortalized.’ {HR, July 1, 1877 par. 7}
She knows the value of her work in God’s eyes, and that’s what gives her joy in attending to the needs of her home. She is not caught up in what the world thinks of her, but in what God has called her to be.
6.
Preserves Sexual Purity
Verse 17, says that ‘She girdeth her loins with strength’. The loins are the pro creative region of the body. Let’s examine this thought some more:
‘When Paul mentions, “having your loins girt about with truth” {Ephesians 6:14}, he is referring to our protecting the pelvic region of the body (which is very vulnerable). This action was common practice for most of the people living in this era, not just the Roman soldiers.’ {The Real Armor of God}
The virtuous woman guards her sexual purity, meaning that she is circumspect in her deportment as well as her dress, so as not to excite the passions in other men. This is a strong woman, sisters! Hollywood teaches us that being sexy, provocative, makes you a strong woman. My Bible tells me that when I guard my sexual purity, by shunning the advances of a man (except my husband), and being my brother’s keeper, then that is true strength in the eyes of God!
Lo now, his strength [is] in his loins, and his force [is] in the navel of his belly. {Job 40:16}
She girdeth her loins with strength. {Proverbs 31:17}
7.
Others Centred: Her heart is tender to the needs of the afflicted, and she seeks to do what she can to alleviate their suffering. In this way she is teaching her children the most precious lesson of self-denial.
8.
Her husband has a good reputation: The Bible says:
‘Even a child is known by his doings…’ {Proverbs 20:11}
When a child has godly behaviour, he is known by people for that. It is a reflection on the character of the home he is from. Likewise, the virtuous woman’s husband is well known in the area they are in, which is a reflection on the kind of home environment that he is living in. There goes that famous saying, ‘Behind every good man, there is a good woman’. That’s the refining and sanctifying influence that God has given to women.
9.
Her words are moved by the principle of kindness: She only says those words that will be a savour of life unto life. Therefore, this is a woman whose speech is not moved by impulse but by principle.
10.
Not idle: There is the misconception that because a woman decides to stay at home that that means she has a whole lot of spare time on her hands. Not so, says one who knows. This woman of strength is far from idle, as we read in Proverbs 31. Verse 27 tells us that she ‘Looketh well to the ways of her household....’ This means that she observes carefully the inmates of the home. She is sensitive to the needs of the children and husband; and sees to it that those needs are met.
11.
Family Confirm that She is Blessed: Her children are trained up in the ways of God, that they ‘Arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also’. The Hebrew for ‘arise’ is actually translated as ‘confirm’. So it would mean that the children and the husband confirm or testify that indeed this woman is blessed of God. ‘Even a child is known by his doings’, ‘Her husband is known in the gates....’ She is a praise to her husband. He boasts of her, for he realises her worth.
Favour [is] deceitful, and beauty [is] vain: [but] a woman [that] feareth the LORD, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.
{Proverbs 31:30, 31}
"So Lord, what
areas in my heart, in my life am I not srrendering to Your will? When
someone crosses me, or I am tempted to get impatient or frustrated with
someone, do I heed Your still small voice to harden not my heart but
surrender to the mind of Christ? If this is not my case, I pray that You
make my heart tender, sensitive and pliable to Your voice calling to my
heart, and in turn wholeheartedly obey. In Jesus' Name, Amen."
